June 23, 2004

temptation...

it occured to me just now how much bladed weapons i keep in my possesion and in my surroundings. in my bag i have a swiss knife and a balisong (fanblade). in my pocket is a switchblade. in my office drawer is another balisong. in my pc desk at home is another switchblade. finally, in my bedroom i keep the rest of my collection: three balisongs of different designs, a swiss knife, and a penknife. let's see... that's a total of ten knives. i have more stashed in my home province.
 
collecting knives has been a lifelong fascination. it started when i was growing up in the provinces. babies like me (half-batangeuno, half-aklanon who just moved in from the city) were especially susceptible to aswang attacks. for protection, i wore an assortment of charms and talismans. to complete my defenses, my mother gave me a dagger made of pure copper -- the only metal that can inflict serious damage to aswangs. until i went to highschool, this dagger was under my pillow when i sleep, and in my bag when i walk to and from school.
 
maybe when i get a place of my own (not a rented apartment), i can finally move on to longer blades like the kris and daikatana. until then, i stick to handy pocket knives.
 
i never look forward to actually using them on others, or on myself (and not just for peeling apples). the one in my pocket is there as last option. i've gotten so used to them that i hardly notice their presence. it's only now that they seem to have leapt out of their hiding places, screaming for my attention -- longing to be used...
 
tempting...
 
waaahahahaha! i'm going crazy...

No comments: