February 27, 2024

I want these back

I can't recall the last time I doodled, and out of nowhere, this came out today during our flag ceremony.


Okay, maybe not out of nowhere. I was doodling this while telling myself to cut down on playing MMORPGs and do something I used to do.

Aside from doodling, I used to:
- Work out
- Comb my hair more
- Read books continuously
- Maintain a journal

I am getting all these back. Now.

October 30, 2023

Dream sequence

I saw them see me, and one of them said "shit" and tried to change course and look away.

Too late. I said "Hi."

What a weird dream. I woke up feeling sad.

***
Hospitals. I don't want to be anywhere near them.

But here we are, rushing through the halls to get medicines and medical supplies from all over the city, trying to stay calm and collected despite that dreadful fear of losing the fight. 

If we lose, there will be one empty seat at the family table this Christmas.

But, come to think of it, has anyone ever won this fight?

🙏

October 04, 2023

Voices

Last night, I dreamed of voices. In that dream, I see nothing -- not even darkness. As if my eyes never existed.

Only voices.

And one rose above the rest. A voice I know so well.

"Help me."

October 03, 2023

Glitchy

I would rather forget than have false memories.

Some memories were clear in my head. My senses can even recall them.

But they were wrong -- jumbled, mixed up, twisted...

Imagined.

In short, wrong.

I may like them, but I don't want them.

I don't know why I have them and why there are so many of them.

I should write more.

Take pictures and videos more.

Anything.

Just to have real memories.

September 16, 2023

48

August 29.

Heineken in my right hand, Amsterdam's  Mango Haze Mix in my left, a box of Amnesia Kush Space Cookies on the table, my colleague seated across it, chilly Rotterdam night air in the lovely gardens of Novotel Schiedam.

It was evening in Netherlands when my birthday came. We spent that day enjoying the sights (and smell haha) of Amsterdam. 

When the red light district opened, I spoke with two ladies behind the glass window. The first one looked like Meg Ryan, and I asked her about the rates. The second one looked like a Filipina so I went to ask her if she is, and learned that she's Italian.

For my birthday celebration, I bought cookies and pre-rolled joint from Amsterdam, and a Heineken six-pack from Dirk's. 

They were great. I kinda wish these stuffs are legal in the PH, and people here would be cool and calm enough to enjoy them in peace -- no fuss, no drama. 

Anyway, it's great to be 48, and I thank the heavens for the life, love, and lessons 🙏




September 15, 2023

Finding the One -- a throwback

Over three years ago...
 
She's not my first choice. I was initially looking at Giant's line of mountain bikes -- because some of the people I know own one, and they seem satisfied with it. Trek was a second choice because some of my officemates already used them.

But it was the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and bicycle boom -- popular brands like Giant and Trek were hard to find.

I learned about the Merida brand from a long-time bike vlogger Ian How. One of his bikes is a Merida, so I thought, "If this guy rides this brand of bike in his amazing long rides, it must be a dependable bike."

I was pleasantly surprised to find plenty of Merida MTBs for sale at the Facebook Marketplace. One seller was selling a Merida Big Seven 200 at a lower price (at that time) than the other sellers. After researching the model and specs, I was convinced she was the one. I contacted the seller and closed the deal.

On July 22, 2020, online seller Ms Yvonne and her husband delivered her to the office. 






And so began my bike adventures 😊

September 13, 2023

N+1... nah

There will always be something better.

Pero I'm happy na with what I have 😊

An MTB, a roadie, and a foldie that's also a minivelo.

I'm good.

Meri (Merida Big 7 200). My super dependable, all-around fun travel buddy

Iska (Merida Scultura 100). Patiently waiting for me to do the AUDAX and triathlon 😆 The fastest and lightest bike I've ever owned.

Ani (Doppelganger FX02 RTY). My hardworking, worry-free, everyday commuter buddy. You are meant to be the sacrificial workhorse, but I will dress you up soon.




July 20, 2023

My dreams, as told by ChatGPT

In the tapestry of my dreams, a vision brightly gleams,
Where worlds of ink and melody blend in vibrant streams,
I yearn to write a manga, a tale of wondrous art,
Unfolding magic and emotions from the depths of my heart.

With notes that dance like stars, a song I'll soon compose,
A symphony of passion, where every feeling flows,
And on the strings of destiny, I'll play a serenade,
The guitar's sweet harmony, a melody well-played.

In front of countless eyes, beneath the starry sky,
I'll give a grand performance, a moment to glorify,
With song and dance entwined, I'll seize the shining stage,
And in the hearts of many, my story shall engage.

But beyond the fame and applause, my journey's not in vain,
For I'll pen my life's memoirs, a legacy to remain,
Each chapter filled with laughter, with struggles, and with tears,
A testament to courage that perseveres through fears.

And when the final curtain falls, and I embrace the end,
I'll rest with peace and solace, my heart forever on the mend,
For in my dreams, I longed to leave a world transformed,
A better place for my loved ones, where their spirits are warmed.

I'll cherish every moment, with love and joy to share,
To leave a mark of kindness, a legacy that's rare,
In the tapestry of my dreams, these visions now entwine,
A life well-lived, a soul fulfilled, a legacy divine.



January 17, 2023

Forward

I was told it's going to be addicting.

He's right.

I'm loving the discomfort. It keeps my brain from asking too many questions.

If there's one thing I learned these past few years, it is that the answers will never come.

Just let go.

And keep running forward.

January 14, 2023

High school

For me, high school was the best time of my single life. But, whatever cohesive force our batch had in the past is no longer there.

In this year's Ati-atihan, no one mentioned anything about a get-together.

Or maybe I distanced myself so well that I have no idea what's going on 🤣 Or maybe everyone's just busy to think about anything like that.

Still, deep inside I wish all of our batchmates get together again. 

All of us.



I want these back

I can't recall the last time I doodled, and out of nowhere, this came out today during our flag ceremony. Okay, maybe not ou...