September 23, 2005

Ama

September 21
1:30 pm

My mom texted me: "(Forwarded inspirational message here)... Anak, your dad was rushed to the hospital this morning. Get in touch with toto."

That's my mom, always starting her SMS with words of wisdom and inspiration. I replied, "Will do mamidir. Ingat lagi. Labs u. Ü"

Dad must have neglected his medicines again. Or maybe he ate too much and his sugar levels and blood pressure went up. Funny because a while ago I was watching the news on Norberto Gonzales' condition.

Such are the health problems that run in my father-side family. Damn. I have his genes. Heck, I AM his living proof that he succeeded in making a replica of himself.

September 21
2:15 pm

"Mary Mediatrix. Possibly cardiac arrest. Still in ER." was my sister-in-law's reply. Short and straight.

It was worse than I imagined. Considering the time it took to reply to my text, I assumed my brother, if not everyone, have been too busy to reply right away.

I forwarded the message to my fiancée. We were supposed to go on leave tomorrow, Thursday, to attend to some wedding preparations. But now there will be changes.

I went to our office administrator, borrowed my leave form, and revised the Reason for leave from "Personal" to "Family emergency".

I should leave ASAP.

September 21
5:00 pm

I can't believe I'm still in the office. If this is Pinoy Big Brother, the viewers must have sent me to hell a thousand times now for not rushing to my father in his dire time.

Maybe because my brother texted me "Myocardial infarction. Na revive siya kanina by defib. Stable na sya at nakausap ko na siya ng matino. The aunts are here."

"Myocardial infarction? Hindi ka ba nag-typo sa text mo kanina at dapat infraction yun? Defib? Dad went flat-line (wtf!)? So nandyan na ang mga tiyahin. Is it okay if I show up first thing tomorrow? Sige, see you then. Joan will be coming with me."

If this is PBB, I've definitely been sent to hell already.

Anyway, I'm just thankful to God for my Dad's second life.

His second chance to change.

September 22

The ICU looks well-equiped and sterile. After two visits inside to check on my father I realized I've been wearing the medical gown the wrong way. Dapat pala sa likod ang pagtali.

I can't stay long inside the ICU because my father cries everytime he sees me, and he would try narrate the incident before he had the heart attack over again. The attending staff would give me the Don't-make-your-father-cry-because-it's-bad-for-him look everytime I enter the ICU.

Before you guys think I am the onion of my father's eyes, let's just say he doesn't see me much for the longest time. His story is pretty simple, but one which I pray would not carry over to his son that has the biggest share of his genes.

September 12, 2005

Coping

Got tagged by Pie some weeks ago. ^^

1. What are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play?

Sleep. Read. Draw. Play online.

2. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it in your journal.

- Playing my favorite online game. By far the one with the most efficient cathartic effect. Helps a lot especially when I’m close to losing my temper and when my anxiety level gets way too high.
- Exercise. Perhaps at par with online gaming, and more beneficial. I jog, run, race with tricycles on my bicycle, clean the house and lift furnitures around, etc -- anything to tire me out.
- Sketching. Simmering down stage. My drawings somehow look better with restless hands and a mind that’s still struggling to get a better perspective of whatever was that that stressed me out.
- Writing. Okay, mind’s working now. The blog and my handy-dandy journal become my good buddies here.
- A big hug from Pangga. Melts all my worries away. Works all the time. ^^

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Chemical Rhapsody is too toxic a place for thoughts on wedding stuffs and marriage, so Two Wings will have to cover that. It's just about to get busy so do visit us there every now and then. ^^ Cheers!