July 14, 2013

ME time


Window shopping at the electronics section.

Pacific Rim.

Jollibbee Ultimate Burger Steak and Jolli Hotdog Classic.

This is ME time. ^^

July 07, 2013

Simple Truths: On Love -- by Kent Nerburn

It breaks my heart to see this wonderful article being mercilessly ripped off and plagiarized by so many who have no decency of properly citing its author.

This article is at pages 63-66 of Kent Nerburn's book, Simple Truths: Clear and Gentle Guidance on the Big Issues in Life, first printed in March 1996 by New World Library, 14 Pamaron Way, Novato, California 94949. As per the author's note, much of Simple Truths' materials were excepted from his book, Letters to My Son,© 1993 Kent Nerburn.

My wife bought her copy of Simple Truths at National Bookstore Katipunan, Quezon City, Philippines (Filipinas?? hehe), in 1997. It came as a shock to her, and most likely anyone owning this book, when a then university student got profusely credited for an essay he submitted to his professor, and passed the said essay as his own, when in fact his work was a heavily re-worded and re-phrased version of Nerburn's piece. That story and the alleged original piece done by this student went viral for a while via email. There was no fezbuk yet back then, and I imagine though it would have been so much easier to rectify the situation -- had that student posted his work on his wall.

But like all else that goes awry in social media, that incident was also forgotten.

This is the single most important work on love that I hold close to my heart, and it is only fitting that I put it here verbatim with proper citations.


On Love

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some loves grow and it is a mystery why some loves fail.You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience. 

Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and  commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the  love and hold it to them, refusing to see that is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances. They blame each other. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious way they live in a sea of misery.

You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.

If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.

Remember this and keep it in your heart. You don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it come into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave, from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will surely come again.