September 27, 2006

Sacrifice

I have known too many people, some of them close friends, who died because they cannot break a habit that destroyed them in the first place.

I have listened to their tales of so-called sacrifices, the things they have to give up so they could keep on living as normally and healthy as possible. At times, I hear only stories of hardship, making their lives seem like one big punishment.

But when does the concept of sacrifice end and change of lifestyle begin?

If it is the doctor’s order to stop smoking, throwing or giving away your stash of cigarettes is not a sacrifice, just as passing off the cake for dessert because of your diabetes is not a superhuman feat.

It is just a change of lifestyle, and one just have to live with it. Haven’t they smoked enough packets of cigarettes, or eaten enough sweets, or drank barrels of liquor during their "age of invulnerability" to last them a lifetime?

But unfortunately, some think otherwise, and thus giving in to old habits is just normal. “Tao lang, kumbaga.”

And so they take a puff, eat a slice, take a sip. And every time, they render thousands of pesos worth of medication useless.

I have listened to too many of these tales.

And now I have to listen to that of my father’s.

September 26, 2006

Breach

I tip my hat to those who can build a rock-solid division between personal and work problems, and keep it that way.

Mine just broke.

Today I managed destroy four pencils, raise my voice to a colleague (I'm sooooo sorry po), and, worse of all, demote an article by a multi-awarded journalist to a mere side-story in our media release – what the heck was I thinking?

I better go home before I do more damage to my work, others, and myself.

I can’t wait to go home.

Sigh.

September 21, 2006

I give up...

Dad.

I just learned that no amount of anger can change the fact that you are my father.

No matter how hard I try to keep my distance, I’ll come running to heed your call.

I may have a thousand and one alibis to stay away, but I’m surprised at how easily I can drop everything to rush by your side...

If you just cry for help.

Ah.

I hope you get well, Dad.

I just hope, too, that you see what my brother and sister are going through to help you...

and that you know what you’re doing...