To ride...

…or not to ride. I’ve been looking at motorcycles for quite some time now — not just admiring them, but seriously considering owning one. Yet every time I’m close to buying, one of two things happens: 1) I see a news report about a fatal motorcycle accident, and it makes me afraid to ride; or 2) I encounter a kamote rider, and it makes me resent the motorcycle community. Choosing to bike was easy: it was the pandemic, and I needed to stay fit. But with a motorcycle, what reason could I possibly have? Save on fuel? Cut travel time? Or, most importantly, midlife crisis? ^^ Oh well — I’ll leave this one to the cosmos.

50!

August 28, 8PM. 

"Knock, knock.

"Who's there?

"Leo.

"Leo who?

"I wanna Leeeeeeooooo down in a bed of roses..."

And so the last few hours of my life as a quadragenarian were spent laughing and drinking with a few colleagues at work.

All of them great and wonderful, and I missed spending moments like that with them.

When I see them again next week, I'd be a quinquagenarian.

*** 

11:40PM

My last ride as a forty-ish guy. Here were the thoughts running through my head like a kind, gentle reminder.

• Try not to overthink
• Don't be too serious
• Sleep more
• Hate less
• Be generous with gratitude
• Accept and let go

 

Version 2.0

There will never be another Chester Bennington. Ever.

But I almost cried when I heard Linkin Park 2.0.  

Mike Shinoda was right to follow his guts about Emily Armstrong.

I'm glad the band lives on to continue making their brand of sound.

And what a joy to hear their old songs. 

Different power, same intensity.

All Linkin Park.

***

Thanks, Eraserheads.

Got to slow dance with me wifey to your Huling El Bimbo.

***

September is shaping up to be an interesting one.

Two amazing comebacks in just a month.

Wifey asked me if I could do something similar.

I dunno.

I only see these sorts of reunions in either movies or showbiz.

For an average guy like me, I could only dream.

Real life rarely comes up with version 2.0 

49!

Thank you for the love. Even if it's challenging. Even if we're far apart. We're adulting, I agree. We will prevail. We will strive to work towards being together again.

Thank you for family.

Thank you for friends. Near or far. Remembered or forgotten. Easy or awkward. To the very few. To the ones I lost, and found. To old and new. I sincerely ask forgiveness to all I have wronged. To those who stayed, I am forever grateful.

Thank you for the health. 

I'm on the road to 50. 

Thank you for everything.

I want these back

I can't recall the last time I doodled, and out of nowhere, this came out today during our flag ceremony.

Okay, maybe not out of nowhere. I was doodling this while telling myself to cut down on playing MMORPGs and do something I used to do.

Aside from doodling, I used to:

- Work out

- Comb my hair more

- Read books continuously

- Maintain a journal

I am getting all these back. Now.

Dream sequence

I saw them see me, and one of them said "shit" and tried to change course and look away.

Too late. I said "Hi."

What a weird dream. I woke up feeling sad.

***

Hospitals. I don't want to be anywhere near them.

But here we are, rushing through the halls to get medicines and medical supplies from all over the city, trying to stay calm and collected despite that dreadful fear of losing the fight. 

If we lose, there will be one empty seat at the family table this Christmas.

But, come to think of it, has anyone ever won this fight?

🙏

Voices

Last night, I dreamed of voices. In that dream, I see nothing -- not even darkness. As if my eyes never existed.

Only voices.

And one rose above the rest. A voice I know so well.

"Help me."

Glitchy

I would rather forget than have false memories.

Some memories were clear in my head. My senses can even recall them.

But they were wrong -- jumbled, mixed up, twisted...

Imagined.

In short, wrong.

I may like them, but I don't want them.

I don't know why I have them and why there are so many of them.

I should write more.

Take pictures and videos more.

Anything.

Just to have real memories.

48

August 29.

Heineken in my right hand, Amsterdam's  Mango Haze Mix in my left, a box of Amnesia Kush Space Cookies on the table, my colleague seated across it, chilly Rotterdam night air in the lovely gardens of Novotel Schiedam.

It was evening in Netherlands when my birthday came. We spent that day enjoying the sights (and smell haha) of Amsterdam. 

When the red light district opened, I spoke with two ladies behind the glass window. The first one looked like Meg Ryan, and I asked her about the rates. The second one looked like a Filipina so I went to ask her if she is, and learned that she's Italian.

For my birthday celebration, I bought cookies and pre-rolled joint from Amsterdam, and a Heineken six-pack from Dirk's. 

They were great. I kinda wish these stuffs are legal in the PH, and people here would be cool and calm enough to enjoy them in peace -- no fuss, no drama. 

Anyway, it's great to be 48, and I thank the heavens for the life, love, and lessons 🙏

Finding the One -- a throwback

Over three years ago...

 

She's not my first choice. I was initially looking at Giant's line of mountain bikes -- because some of the people I know own one, and they seem satisfied with it. Trek was a second choice because some of my officemates already used them.

But it was the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and bicycle boom -- popular brands like Giant and Trek were hard to find.

I learned about the Merida brand from a long-time bike vlogger Ian How. One of his bikes is a Merida, so I thought, "If this guy rides this brand of bike in his amazing long rides, it must be a dependable bike."

I was pleasantly surprised to find plenty of Merida MTBs for sale at the Facebook Marketplace. One seller was selling a Merida Big Seven 200 at a lower price (at that time) than the other sellers. After researching the model and specs, I was convinced she was the one. I contacted the seller and closed the deal.

On July 22, 2020, online seller Ms Yvonne and her husband delivered her to the office. 

And so began my bike adventures 😊

N+1... nah

There will always be something better.

Pero I'm happy na with what I have 😊

An MTB, a roadie, and a foldie that's also a minivelo.

I'm good.

Meri (Merida Big 7 200). My super dependable, all-around fun travel buddy

Iska (Merida Scultura 100). Patiently waiting for me to do the AUDAX and triathlon 😆 The fastest and lightest bike I've ever owned.

Ani (Doppelganger FX02 RTY). My hardworking, worry-free, everyday commuter buddy. You are meant to be the sacrificial workhorse, but I will dress you up soon.