Learn how to help... properly

On my way back from Kaybiang Tunnel, I saw a male biker pushing his female companion. She looked completely bonked out.

As I watched them from behind, I thought it was a chivalrous effort. But I got worried when I noticed the guy was not steady with his bike control, and it looked like he was just as tired. 

As he gave one mighty push, his bike swerved and tangled with his companion's. They fell down hard.

The guy had no visible injury, but the girl had a long scrape on her leg. Good thing they had alcohol. I forgot my first aid kit so I can only briefly check on them and proceed on my way.

I tried pushing a teammate once while ascending to Antipolo, but only very briefly and with minimal effect. It was definitely not easy, and something to avoid if you're also tired, or unsteady with bike handling.

Instead of performing the push, I would prefer to just take a break.

Bikeless for weeks | Balik-tanaw sa June 12, 2021

I made a misstep in my travel preparation, so now I am without a bike.

For days. Weeks.

Nothing bike-related stuffs to do but to visit old GoPro recordings and slap together a memory video.

And so I found this June 12, 2021 ride with the PH-based LARGA PH teammates.

Lots of great memories here, so I tried editing it --

October 12 reflections: Change is constant

Aside from Christmas songs, may isang si Jose Mari Chan na talaga napaka-akma sa buhay nating lahat. Ito ay ang Constant Change.

Kay daming naganap na mga pagbabago nitong mga nakalipas na araw, mula sa global event na pagkapanalo ni Maria Ressa ng Nobel Peace Prize, sa pagpapalit ni Kuya Kim mula Kapamilya sa Kapuso, hanggang sa pinakamaliit na desisyon na personal ninyong nagawa noong isang linggo, kahapon, o kanina.

Last week, natapos na ang filing ng certificate of candidacies ng mga nagnanais tumakbo sa darating na eleksyon. So, what's next?

- The true horse race begins, the way SWS does it when the official ballot is finalized

- November 15, 2021: last day for substitution

- February 8, 2022. Campaign begins

I would just like to drive home the point that:

- The voting decision is never static

- Only 66% are firm with their choices a week before election day 

So remember: People change.

Congrats, AR!

My long-time friend, former housemate, and former officemate will be flying to Taiwan soon for further studies.

Congrats, AR!

***

I was ordering liemposilog for dine-in lunch at Rodics when a lady queued behind. All black outfit, blouse that fit just right, and square pants. She had her eyeglasses, face mask, and face shield on, and she had her head down looking at her phone, but I recognized her instantly from the hairstyle, forehead, and body shape. 

I guess it's easy when you've spent many years with that person under one roof and one work.

***

AR gave me Lola Nena's amazingly delicious donuts for doing some of her referral letters for her applications.

So happy to hear she got accepted. ^^

Flaws

Yesterday I almost bought a ukulele. I've already added two Wagas and two Clifton ukuleles to my cart for comparison. I've gotten to my final option -- a Clifton concert -- and ready to checkout.

When I decided to play guitar songs on Youtube.

I realized I still have a guitar, and I haven't even gotten better playing it.

Moved the ukulele to Like, and checked out some small, bike-related items.

***

I was interviewed by a vlogger yesterday, and proudly announced that experience among my close circle.

Then I realized... no one needs to know about that interview.

It has nothing to do with them, with anyone, because I failed to make anyone a part of it, except that one person who occupies my entire being even without my morning coffee. It's that typical top-of-mind response of a caffeine-deprived mind, sort of like an autopilot.

Ah, Leo... excuses, excuses.

Just stop. You failed. Plain and simple. There's nothing fun about it, and thus nothing worthy of sharing. It's purely for your personal trip.

***

Two mistakes, one character flaw.

I managed to avoid the first one, but failed miserably with the other.

Much to re-learn.

Especially keeping my defenses up.

All. The. Time.

There's always a proper time to share. Too much is always not a good thing.

Before it's too late

This is an old, ever-recurring thought I have in my head: life is fleeting.

My new hobby (or escape) and this pandemic brought this thought up there in my mind's top spot.

If my time to go comes, what happens to all my thoughts? My feelings? My ideas?

Gone.

I wonder...

How many thoughts, feelings, and ideas are lost every day?

Should I put mine somewhere?

Should I tell anyone? 

...

...

....

...

I did. I did tell someone. Once. A long time ago.

It was a bad idea.

So... 

I'll put it somewhere, then.

Maybe right here.

***

Last September 11, on my way to Tagaytay, I had my first bike semplang (crash). A cargo truck was parked at the side of the road somewhere on Aguinaldo Highway. Before I passed at the left side, I checked the rear for any oncoming vehicle. Seeing none, I made the pass and began accelerating.

I didn't notice that one of the nylon cords hanging at the side of the truck got tangled at the right tip of my handlebar. I was already picking up speed when the cord yanked my handlebar to the right, sending me flying forward straight to the concrete.

I broke my fall using both hands (thank goodness for the gloves), but the impact sprained my left wrist. I was fortunate that there was no vehicle behind me, and that my body went on autopilot to crawl immediately to the sidewalk. The cargo truck's crew members were also quick to secure my bike and check up on me.

I would have wanted to visit a lot of places in Tagaytay, but since I couldn't use my left hand fully, I ended my itinerary at the Tagaytay Rotonda, and slowly made my way back to Makati.

My virtual teammates were the first ones to know about what happened, and I thank them for their care and concern -- it really is heartwarming to receive "how are yous" and "get well soons". 🙏

Ride safe and stay safe, everyone!

I'm always thankful for the higher power that's been keeping me safe throughout my life. At age 46, I never had a major injury, and I pray it stays that way. Thank you, Lord. 🙏

***

The freakiness of that semplang made me acutely aware of my mortality, thus, this urge to reflect about what to do with the things happening in my head... and soul.

Maybe I should just learn to be at peace with the reality that some things, thoughts, and feelings are not meant to be known by anyone else.

Yes. I should.

Before it's too late and I make the same mistake I did long ago.

#

Time for self

The 2000 election was the most memorable time for me at work. That's the time when my passion for work overwhelmed my health.

We were celebrating the successful round of election research in Boracay when my body gave up. After swimming out to the then-famous Floating Bar, I faded like a burned out candle and just collapsed at the floater.

I was then diagnosed with TB, and spent the next year in medication. Almost half of that time was spent recovering in the provinces, and I achieved the fittest I've ever been.

When I reported back to work, our then VP (now P) told me to always take time to take care of my health, regardless of how busy work is.

I've taken her advise to heart.

I take time now for my physical and mental health.

 Somewhere in C-6 Road, Taguig.

Pieces

When the pressure is too great

and the only hug that matters

is too far to keep me from falling apart

I ride

So I don't notice parts of me cracking

because I'm too busy breathing

hard

And if I do crack, I won't see it

because all I see are clouds, roads,

and people

I hear their cracks

But I also see their strength

And then I find mine

Only the strong and brave

I forgot who said this, but I sadly agree with him/her:

Biking in Metro Manila is only for the strong and brave.

It is... still. And I hope someday it won't be anymore.

***

At Padre Pio Chapel, Eastwood...

It's my first time to attend mass and stand among many, at least a meter apart with a mask.

The atmosphere is different. Everyone is praying in earnest.

I was, too. And I cried a lot, minus the tears. Without the mask, people would see that I was crying really, really hard. They would have seen my sorry crying face, my mouth distorted. I was taking deep breaths, pretending I was still warming down from the ride, but I was trying to stop the tears.

I was crying.

Especially when I pray for everyone's health and safety. Everyone I love, everyone close to me, everyone I know my whole life, and everyone I met only recently.

Everyone.

Because this veerus is terribly shitty good at taking everyone by surprise and terribly shitty good at taking anyone.

Anyone.

***

Be strong.

Be brave.

Have faith.

Have hope.

Have tapang kalabaw 👍

First to go?

Someone from my HS batch passed away. She lost her fight against cancer.

I could be wrong, but it felt like this is the first time someone from our batch passed away.

We're in our mid-forties.

Why does it feel that things like this are happening too soon?

46

Days before my birthday, wifey guessed correctly that I already have more than two bikes (she guessed four, but I think that's her power of predicting the future, haha!), and my mother already knew that I'll be out biking somewhere during my birthday.

However, my mother thought that I'd be biking with my teammates. With the third Enhanced Community Quarantine in place, I've been planning this ride to be solo.

It was a quick visit to my favorite biking spot in UP Diliman. Heard mass from outside the fence of the Parish of the Holy sacrifice. It was a Sunday, so several bikers gathered outside the chapel to attend the mass.

It would be Iska's first long ride, so I chose Antipolo Cathedral to have her blessed.

Iska is my third bike, following Meri (an MTB) and Midnight (a folding bike). It took me a while to decide between a road bike and a gravel bike, but the nostalgia of a road bike won me over.

My family's very first bike was a mini-racer. They were called racers instead of road bikes back in the 80s. I started riding it when I entered third grade (I was eight).

This is my second year of balik-bisikleta, and also my second pandemic birthday.

I'm grateful for the 46 years. 

With Iska (a second-hand Merida Scultura 200) at UP FA

Eksenang simba sa Parish of the Holy Sacrifice

Random eksena paakyat ng Antipolo

Iska is now blessed

Antipolo Cathedral

Water break along Ortigas Avenue

This scary thing called memory loss

I was craving for a burger. I can't recall the last burger I ate. My LARGA PH teammate, Glai, told me that it was a Burger King.

I was surprised that she's right. I recall eating a BK at the office, on my desk, in front of the computer -- but I can't recall what date, time, and, most of all, why.

I succeeded in tracing that burger's photo on my camera. But the why still eluded me.

So when Glai reminded me that she's the one who sent the burger sometime in July, I finally pieced together that the burger was her Rando blowout for the team.

It took that much from me just to recall the last burger I ate!

I'm facing a really scary scenario of memory loss in the next ten years.

Taking photos and videos, writing... these are no longer just hobbies to me. 

They have become necessities.

PS.

Wifey has been telling me for the longest time to get started with our Notebook. She worries a lot about the integrity of her memory, but between the two of us, hers is considerably sharper than mine.

I am reminded, and now more motivated to get this notebook done.