Pieces

When the pressure is too great

and the only hug that matters

is too far to keep me from falling apart

I ride

So I don't notice parts of me cracking

because I'm too busy breathing

hard

And if I do crack, I won't see it

because all I see are clouds, roads,

and people

I hear their cracks

But I also see their strength

And then I find mine

Only the strong and brave

I forgot who said this, but I sadly agree with him/her:

Biking in Metro Manila is only for the strong and brave.

It is... still. And I hope someday it won't be anymore.

***

At Padre Pio Chapel, Eastwood...

It's my first time to attend mass and stand among many, at least a meter apart with a mask.

The atmosphere is different. Everyone is praying in earnest.

I was, too. And I cried a lot, minus the tears. Without the mask, people would see that I was crying really, really hard. They would have seen my sorry crying face, my mouth distorted. I was taking deep breaths, pretending I was still warming down from the ride, but I was trying to stop the tears.

I was crying.

Especially when I pray for everyone's health and safety. Everyone I love, everyone close to me, everyone I know my whole life, and everyone I met only recently.

Everyone.

Because this veerus is terribly shitty good at taking everyone by surprise and terribly shitty good at taking anyone.

Anyone.

***

Be strong.

Be brave.

Have faith.

Have hope.

Have tapang kalabaw 👍

First to go?

Someone from my HS batch passed away. She lost her fight against cancer.

I could be wrong, but it felt like this is the first time someone from our batch passed away.

We're in our mid-forties.

Why does it feel that things like this are happening too soon?

46

Days before my birthday, wifey guessed correctly that I already have more than two bikes (she guessed four, but I think that's her power of predicting the future, haha!), and my mother already knew that I'll be out biking somewhere during my birthday.

However, my mother thought that I'd be biking with my teammates. With the third Enhanced Community Quarantine in place, I've been planning this ride to be solo.

It was a quick visit to my favorite biking spot in UP Diliman. Heard mass from outside the fence of the Parish of the Holy sacrifice. It was a Sunday, so several bikers gathered outside the chapel to attend the mass.

It would be Iska's first long ride, so I chose Antipolo Cathedral to have her blessed.

Iska is my third bike, following Meri (an MTB) and Midnight (a folding bike). It took me a while to decide between a road bike and a gravel bike, but the nostalgia of a road bike won me over.

My family's very first bike was a mini-racer. They were called racers instead of road bikes back in the 80s. I started riding it when I entered third grade (I was eight).

This is my second year of balik-bisikleta, and also my second pandemic birthday.

I'm grateful for the 46 years. 

With Iska (a second-hand Merida Scultura 200) at UP FA

Eksenang simba sa Parish of the Holy Sacrifice

Random eksena paakyat ng Antipolo

Iska is now blessed

Antipolo Cathedral

Water break along Ortigas Avenue